My name is Kate and I am 16 years old.
Have you ever heard of the expression that children are punished for their sins?
Well, I’m this kid.
I think the main reason for my problems is that I couldn’t see my biological mother as a mother. Although I have known her all my life and discovered that she was my mother a long time ago when I was eight years old. This was when my father told me, that my older sister Anis was, in fact, my mother.
Gosh, how happy I was!
Anis lived in another city and did not see her much, but she expected it every time as if it were Christmas! This also means that the children of Anis were my real brothers and sisters! Anis learned that she expected another child to be born soon. Of course, I asked my father if we could see Anis as soon as possible! When I looked at the train window and thought of my first meeting with Anis as my mother, it suddenly happened to me that my father was really my grandfather. It may sound strange, but that was much harder for me to accept, even though everything has now been eliminated.
Ben was older than fifty years and older than my father all my friends. I was confused and trying to adapt to this new world inside my head. But this happy feeling, that I will hug my mother soon, is still important… I think there’s only one moment in my life when I felt that Anis was my mom. When we arrived, out of shame, I tongue out the simplest words in the world and said embarrassingly: “Mother, please, comb my hair.” While Anis was brushing my hair and talked about the sleeping baby under her heart, I was quite happy
I was happy for a while after Ben and I came home. I had no close friends, but I told everyone who would listen that I would soon live with my mother. It’s good that my life didn’t matter much to people, and no one asked me about it later. Because after two months I realized that Anis would not change her life.
Ben, who started contacting my father again, tried to relieve me and said that Anis was having difficulties right now, waiting for the baby and that her other children also needed her attention, which is not the best now. Time to change
But the right time did not come. And I started calling Annice my sister again. Ben didn’t correct me, it was easier for us.
It’s been four years. Suddenly, Ben and I learned that Anis had left her husband … and her three children. I was twelve years old and Bin did not hide his surprise from me.but for me …I felt hopeful Anis leaves her, does that mean she’ll be back with us?
I didn’t tell Ben about my thoughts, I kept them deep in my heart.
But as I saw that he did not approve of Anis’ actions, I argued with him, honestly defended her and sought any reason to justify his decisions. At about the same time I asked him how it happened to me that he embraced me.
and he told me.
Anis was 16 when she gave birth to me. He had to miss high school for a year because of it, then moved to another city to finish school, leaving me a newborn, with his father, Ben. When Anis returned, she didn’t want to stay with Ben.I found a job and now can afford to rent a room, so I moved … and took me with it!
But the child, who is not yet two years old, only caused problems. When he went to work, he left me with a roommate, who worked from home.
But once, he went out to get some food, you know, for just a second. Suddenly he met a friend. It would have been fine, but I left the window open. It was winter, having suffered from pneumonia after several hours of crying in an icy room, wearing only slippers.
Ben took me home after the hospital. I think it will be a temporary solution. But six months later, Anis got married and left the city. In the next six months, he had another child.
Then another …By then I was four years old and I remember drawing a greeting card to my dear sister Anis …Ben’s story made me more positive than Anis … my mother would return to us. But within a year, Ben and I learned that Anis had another child and was living happily with her new boyfriend. I think this news was the last blow to all my naive dreams. When they disappeared, she drowned in the darkness of depression. But half a year ago, Ben decided that we should visit Annice, although she looked like she didn’t want it and repeated that everything was fine.
But Ben was determined to see his fifth grandson, so we made a surprise visit. When we entered his house, we understood everything without words.
The small apartment was dirty and dirty, and besides, it smelled deadly. Anis tried to look exhilarating, but it looked bad … I thought I felt the smell of alcohol coming from her. We didn’t see her boyfriend who was “about to go home at any time,” as she repeated over and over, but we saw Harvey, my three-year-old brother.
He was a pale thin boy who cried hard when Anis tried to pull him from the corner, where he was sitting, to greet us. I notice bruises with all his thin arms.
We went out that afternoon and fought Ben on the way back home. He blamed Annice, tried to defend her and invented any possible excuse for what we saw. But when I got to my room, I started crying and couldn’t stop.
I never felt worse. I never heard when Ben entered my room, and only when he hugged me, I realized I was there … and I was crying too. Then he said he seemed to need a good psychotherapist. It seems to me that before I saw the bruises on Harvey’s arms, I could have misunderstood the words of this beautiful woman.
She said that she should not stop trying to treat Annice as my sister, but also stop trying to protect her.It wasn’t she who needed protection, but Harvey.
As before, I needed protection, but for me, there was always my grandfather. Also, like the other three children he left, they might. She said that adoption always suffers from secrets and confusion, but the person who needs to grow needs the courage to reveal these secrets.
My story is coming to an end. Soon I’ll go see Anis again.
I will call her my mother, looking directly at her in the eye, for the first time in eight years and for the second time in my entire life. I will talk to her about Harvey. Because I decided we were ready to take the child to stay with us until Annice grows up …
Now I’m exactly the same age as Anis when she gave birth to me. But I will not repeat their mistakes, which their children had to pay, somehow. It was compassion.
Thank you for listening to me and good luck to your family.